A few minutes ago someone remarked how at the time only 2 people were viewing my Periscope live video.
The user said I was a loser and should quit. Or something to that effect.
The old, struggling blogger me would have either fought the guy or crawled into a cyber cave after the incident, an embarrassed, shamed wreck. The new me knows better.
I have seen, experienced and felt enough criticism in my day to understand the saying “Don’t feed the trolls” but of course this wisdom is tough to follow while recording videos in a live setting.
So how do I handle blogging criticism? Especially when someone seems particularly mean, angry or nasty?
Pardon my French, but I finally understood that these critics are not pr*cks but they are in pain.
Pain and Fear
Happy people do not trawl forums, YouTube, Periscope or blogs doling out nasty criticism. Happy people and happy bloggers spend their time and energy having fun, spreading love and lifting people up.
Only people who are suffering through some fear-based pain criticize others nastily. These people are not really jerks or trolls; they are in pain, and just like an animal in pain, they lash out. But their lashing out usually occurs in the form of criticizing others for any range of issues.
The criticism this morning had nothing to do with me and my low viewership at the time. It may have not even been a jealousy issue. But it was 100% related to this human being’s pain and suffering because only a fearful, pained, suffering person devotes their time and energy to trying to get someone’s goat or start a fight through pretty criticism.
Why Not Get Angry At Critics?
How can I fight a pained, afraid person? It would be like kicking a dog when he is down, or stomping on a cat’s tail when it is walking around with casts on its 2 front legs.
I didn’t get angry at the human being this morning because their criticism had nothing to do with me and everything to do with their pain and fear. Because you can only be in pain if you are suffering from some deep fear.
I felt compassion for the individual and moved on. Not my job to be a savior, or teacher. All I can do is note how all blogging critics are pained, afraid people who lash out in their suffering through criticizing, which has nothing to do with me.
What About Positive Criticism?
Some well-meaning but unhappy folks may offer you sarcastic or biting criticism that is wrapped up in a vinegar coating but is really sugary, honey-sweet feedback that can grow your blogging traffic and profits.
Only you and your intuition knows who offers legitimate, helpful feedback and who is trying to pull you down with their nasty barbs.
I personally see all sharp criticism with a wary eye because I know that if someone offers their advice in a negative or nasty light that their fear and pain prevents them from seeing my blog clearly. Almost like a Brahma bull in a fit of rage, you cannot see anything clearly and offer the best, most constructive feedback when you are upset.
As a rule of thumb I listen to positive, uplifting feedback and process it if the individual offers their opinion from a helpful, loving space and ignore everything else, feedback-wise.
This is a different way to frame blogging criticism.
Some folks advise you not to feed the trolls, starving critics of their attention and energy, which is good advice.
Other fools advise you to prove critics wrong, which is about as intelligent and productive as trying to convince a Great White Shark to move its home from the ocean to the Sahara Desert.
This different approach helps you see a critic for who they are: unhappy people projecting their pain on you. Knowing this you can lose all fear of blogging critics and you may even be able to help them and your fellow blogger by writing a post like this 🙂